Freed From Shame!

Still Sad?

The cool breeze of the morning could not blow the cloud of defeat out of his mind. He stood staring across the water turning the events of the last week over and over in his mind. Shaking his head, he sighed. He should be happy, and he was. Jesus lives! Returned from the dead! Without a doubt, He is the Son of the living God. Messiah! The Anointed One! Crucified – dead – buried three days but today the tomb is empty!

To say that his head was spinning from it all would be a massive understatement! But it was much more – his heart hurt!  How could things ever be the same after what he had done? His big words had given way to cowardice, no worse – betrayal! He knew he should push it out of his mind. Jesus had mentioned him to Mary by name. Knowing Jesus, it meant he was forgiven. But things could never really be the same. Could they?

But it wasn’t just his head, his heart hurt. How could things ever be the same after what he had done? Click To Tweet

That Voice

A voice on the shore, cut through his thoughts, “Do you have any food?” “No!” John replied. The stranger responded, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” They did and boom! The net filled with fish: so many they couldn’t pull the net into the boat. Seeing the miracle, John exclaimed, “It is the Lord!”  Peter drew a deep breath, grabbed his shirt and impulsively plunged into the water to swim to shore.

Coming out of the water, he noticed a fire blazing and a meal of fish and bread prepared. As he moved to the fire to warm himself, the smell of the fire caused his shame to wash over him again! He glanced in Jesus’ direction but quickly looked away. With hands outstretched, He stared into the flames and remembered the fire he wished he could forget.

It was only days earlier yet seemed like an eternity. The memory made him shudder.  His mind filled with images of that early morning around the fire, when the rooster crowed.  As its echo began to fade, Jesus looked at him knowing his denial but loving him anyway. He fled the courtyard and wept bitterly.

The Smell of Shame

Now the smell of charcoal affronted him and mocked him; reminding him of his weakness, his lies, his betrayal. His shame smelled like a coal fire! He glanced at Jesus but dropped his eyes and turned back toward the water. The others were just at the shore wrestling with the net. Thankful for the opportunity to break the awkwardness of the moment, He strode forward and helped pull the net to shore.

Though he wanted to Peter couldn’t avoid the fire for long. John writes of the encounter in chapter twenty-one of his Gospel. It is John that gives us insight into the particular kind of fire Jesus built. John uses a descriptive word that lets us know that it was a charcoal fire. He is the only Gospel writer to use this particular word to describe a fire, and He uses it twice. In John 21:9 he describes the campfire on the beach and in John 18:18 he describes the fire in the courtyard of the High Priest’s home where Peter warmed himself the night of the betrayal.

Smells are often powerful purveyors of memories: good and bad. Peter’s shame had a distinct odor Click To Tweet

Smells are powerful purveyors of memories: good and bad. Stop and think for a moment. Are there smells that quickly trigger memories for you? I have a few.  Peter did too. His greatest shame had a very distinct odor. It smelled like a charcoal fire. And the Lord purposefully created a scenario to remind Peter of his greatest shame. Why?  For many today this doesn’t seem to be in line with the love of God. After all, wouldn’t a loving God do everything possible to keep any bad feelings away from his children?

Restored!

The truth is that real freedom doesn’t result from pretending and avoiding. Jesus brings Peter face to face with his shame, not to rub his nose in his failure but to restore him to freedom! He serves the disciples and Peter a meal of fish and bread, and as they finish eating, He pulls Peter aside and asks him a pointed question – not once but three times.

Jesus brings Peter face to face with his shame, not to rub his nose in his failure but to make him free! Click To Tweet

Jesus lovingly confronted Peter’s issue so that it wouldn’t continue to cause him to shy away from intimacy. Three times he asks Peter, “Do you love me?” And when Peter answered He instructed him, “Feed and tend my sheep and feed my lambs.” [See John 21] Peter knew that Jesus loved him, but he needed to know that the Lord hadn’t changed his mind about his place in His plan. Jesus allowed Peter to express his love for him and reminded him of the purpose He had for his life. With the smell of charcoal in his nostrils, Jesus restored Peter to the purpose of God’s desire and design for His life. Now the smell of shame is the smell of forgiveness!

Just as that campfire meal for Peter was a table of restoration, my prayer for you today is that you will open the door of your heart to the voice of Jesus.  Invite Him in and accept His invitation to eat with Him. As you do, He will free you from your shame, whatever the smell.  And He will remind you of His love for you that releases you into the purpose of your living. [See Revelation 3:20]